sunshine through the fog

... in my mind...

I think I must be now in one of the happiest stage of my life thus far. Ignoring the minor, not-so-consequential discontent and wish-can-be-betters. Yes, I've never been happier.

But this happiness is tinged. By the fact that I'm not able to share it with the one person who would be happiest for me. For she is gone.

The irony? The happier I am, the sadder I get that she's not here to share my joy.

I know I should stop harping on this topic and move on. Whoever's reading my blog might probably be sick and tired of me saying the same old thing again and again and again.

But I miss her so. And no, the pain hasn't gone away. Even after months. It just goes in hiding and rears its desolate head deep at night. And I don't think it'd ever. Perhaps it'd stay in wait for longer periods of time. Perhaps it'd be less harsh. But no, it'd never go away.

Because she'd never be back.